Sit. Stay. Good girl.

When we embark on new experiences, we're often unaware of the unknowns that lie ahead.  This holds true for new parents, first-time homeowners, starting a new job, relocating to a different city, or initiating a fresh relationship. Purpose, our canine offspring, arrived in our lives in 2020 when the world was disrupted by COVID-19.  She’s our first dog, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

After watching dozens of Cesar Millan videos, I realized that I could benefit from a real, in-person dog trainer to help ensure Purpose would be a well-trained, well-behaved dog.

The trainer, Luis, had a great reputation and came highly recommended. I was pumped to see him work his dog-training magic on Purpose.

What I quickly discovered, to my chagrin and dismay, was that the one who needed training was me. Yes, me. Purpose was behaving exactly how she was “trained” to behave, and if I wanted her to be a calmer, more socially adept dog, I needed to be trained.

While it will take time to heal from that truth hitting me square between the eyes, there are a few insights I have gleaned during this training journey that are universal in leadership and relationships. For example:

1. Effective leadership matters. Animals (of the four-legged or two-legged variety) will not respect or follow a weak leader. Weakness in this sense is characterized by being wishy-washy, indecisive, abusive, insecure, emotionally unstable, or inconsistent. Effective leaders are calm, kind, self-controlled, trustworthy, decisive, and consistent.

2. Aggression is an output of fear. When a dog (or human) acts aggressively, it is usually rooted in fear. Address the fear and it will likely eliminate the aggression.

3. Maintain balance. Dogs need a balance of nutritious food, discipline/boundaries, affection/kindness, a sense of safety, and physical activity to be content. Humans do too.

4. Check the unconscious bias. Novices like me unknowingly project our human understanding of the world onto the dog. Dogs are not humans. We are different. They spend time studying us and learning our rhythms and nuances so they can relate to us. They don’t expect us to conform to be like them. They accept us for who we are. We could benefit from extending the same courtesy… in every relationship.

I’m still learning. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.😉