“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

Spencer Johnson,  Who Moved My Cheese?

Do you need to make a big decision in the next few days or weeks that will significantly impact the rest of your life? Maybe you are a college student trying to decide which college to choose. Or you may have a job offer or want to start your own business and you are trying to decide if you should take the leap. Maybe you are deciding if now is the time to get engaged or married. Or you might be deciding if it’s time to buy a house or have a baby.  Maybe you are contemplating retirement. Or maybe you want to start a whole new career and you’re wondering if it’s too late.

Life is a series of decisions that have a domino effect, and we often labor over whether or not we are making the right decision. Sometimes we look back on a decision we made with regret, wondering how different your life would be now if we had made a different choice.  The older I get the more I realize that I don’t want to looked back on my life with regret on opportunities missed because I was too afraid to try. I would rather try and fail and learn from the experience, than play it safe and not learn and grow.

 Here’s my rule of thumb. Picture yourself 5 years from now, and ask you 5-year older self how you feel about the decision.    It’s tricky because you are not 5 years older, you are you right now. The point is to try and imagine the long-term impact of your decision. Are you sacrificing “great” at the altar of “good”? Are you choosing the easy way now, but know deep down there is a price you will pay later?  Do you see yourself better off or do you have regret?  Are you following someone else’s dream for you, or your dream for yourself? Are you living into your full potential or staying in your “safe” zone?  Are you afraid of failure...or success? Are you afraid of change?  Are you just plain afraid?

 When I was 17, I had a decision to make about my future. We had moved to Texas from Jamaica a few months earlier and I needed to decide what I would do for college. My family had limited financial resources and I didn’t qualify for any scholarships because I had only been in the U.S. school system for a few months. The practical, cost effective choice would have been to go to a local community college, work part time and save some money and then go on to a 4-year college to complete my degree. But deep down I knew I needed to do something different. I applied to Howard University in Washington, D.C. I had never been to D.C. and didn’t know anything about being away from home, living in a big city, or even what the word “winter” really meant.  At that point the only place in the U.S. that I knew was the southern Texas town we lived in.  I contemplated the financial burden to my parents if I went to D.C. I also contemplated my future and what I wanted for my life. I knew staying in Texas was not what I needed. I didn’t know what life in D.C. would be like but knew I had to try it.  I didn’t have a chance to visit Howard before I arrived on campus for orientation in the summer of 1988.  I pretended to have it all together on the outside but on the inside, I was scared. My 4 years in D.C. wasn’t an easy time. It was really hard, actually.  But I survived and found inner strength that I didn’t know I had.  I learned through my failures and successes and got stronger and wiser through the journey.  I am indebted to my family for the sacrifices made to allow me to follow my desire to go to Howard and experience the world beyond what was familiar and comfortable. I would often think about my mom, an unlikely hero in my story, working extra shifts at the hospital to generate more income and found inspiration in her sacrifice.   I worked hard and graduated as an honor student who was recruited by KPMG, one of the big 6 accounting firms in the world. My time at KPMG laid a solid foundation for the rest of my professional career. The risk payed off. I am so glad I made the decision to attend Howard. It was the right decision. For me.

So, what’s the right decision for you? Get to a quiet place. Take a deep breath. Be still.  Pray.  Listen. You have the answer within you.  “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”  Make your choice from a place of faith, not fear. Take the step. Make the leap. Stay the course. Double down.  Hold on. Let go.  Stay.  Go. ...Decide. You got this.  Trust your inner wisdom and embrace the journey.